Song Challenge Saturday!

Week 5: A song you play when you’re getting pumped/getting your confidence up.

Since tomorrow is Christmas, I figured that I would make it a Christmas song from one of my favorite movies...

Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Theme Song

Song Challenge Saturday!

Week 4: A song that you indulge in shameless self-pity to. 

This song has very great personal meaning to me.  Not to mention, its from one of my favorite bands.  And my favorite era/look from Weiland...

Stone Temple Pilots-Lady Picture Show

The Good Wife's Guilde

  In May of 1955, a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly ran a short point-form article called "The Good Wife's Guide."

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

 

* Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

 

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Duties, yeah-sure.

 

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

 

* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his personal comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Why yes, a woman's sole purpose in life is to serve her husband.  Pfffft!

 

* Be happy to see him.

 

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

 

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not one of them. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Aw HELL no!

 

* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Not gonna happen, not in this day and age. 

 

* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself body and spirit.

 

* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

He comes home late for dinner and doesn't call?  He's probably gonna find his dinner in the trash!  Stays out all night?  Ha!  He's gonna find his shit out on the front law!

 

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

 

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

Women have no right to question their men?  Lmao, this is comical. 

 

* A good wife always knows her place.

Yeah, at the center of the f**king Universe! 

Wow, no way in HELL would I have made it in the 1950s.  

Bah, Humbug!

I am really not in the Christmas spirit this year.  Usually I can psyche myself into it but I'm just not feeling it this year.  Last year's xmas was kind of screwed up with me being laid-off.  I at least had SOME money for presents.  I could only get them for my kids but, that's really all that matters.  This year I'm not even going to have enough for that. 

I thought about trying to "make" presents.  I was going to crochet some scarfs for Rikki, Tammy and Beth.  Unfortunately I just now got one thing of yarn and a hook.  Its a miracle that I talked the boyfriend into getting that.  (A whopping $4.50)  I started practicing last night.  My problem is I have no idea what I could make for the boys and my dad.  I guess I could make scarfs for them too-but my dad just isn't the "scarf type."  Who the hell knows what I'll end up doing...probably nothing knowing my luck.  Even if I became proficient enough to crank out six scarfs in the next 2 weeks; I'd have to somehow get the money out of the boyfriend.  It wouldn't be much but trying to get money out of him is a pain in the ass.

Song Challenge Saturday!

Week Three:  A song that you quote often. 

This one is kind of tough because I don't really quote songs that much anymore.  I used to quite a bit.  Probably the one that comes to mind the most is a really old one from my school days.

"Out there is a fortune waiting to be had, you think I'll let it go you're mad-you got another thing comin'"

Judas Priest's-You Got Another Thing Comin'

Song Challenge Saturday!

I've decided to do my weekly song challenge on Saturdays.  One per week starting now.  (Should be interesting to see how things have changed when I'm finished a year from now)

 Week 2: A song that you listened to as a kid, that you thought made you cool. Real Cool.

Hmm, I would have to say Pink Floyd's-Another Brick In The Wall.  Not so sure I liked it because I thought it was cool. I just knew I liked it, a bunch of us "alternative" kids liked it and we loved to sing it as loud as we could just to irritate the teachers!

Murphy's Nurses Law

These are hilarious...and so true!

Courtesy of:   The Murphy's Law Site

• Realizing the patient you've just injected has a serious infection causes you to stab yourself with the used needle.
• A 500 pound patient needs all care, while your 80 pound patient needs a finger dressing ... and your colleague has a "bad back."
• It's you're first night shift for three years. And it's a full moon.
• You're doing the "Only 27 more minutes of the shift from hell happy-dance", only to turn around to see your supervisor standing there.
• In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
• The absurdity of the suggestion is directly proportional to the distance from the bedside.
• As soon as you finish a thirty minute dressing the doctor will come in, and take a look at the wound.
• The disoriented patient always comes from a Nursing Home whose beautiful paperwork has no phone number on it.
• Your nose will itch the very moment your gloved hands get contaminated with bodily fluids.
• The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.
• You walk out of a patient's room after you've asked them if they need anything: they will put the call bell on as you are about three quarters the way down the hall.
• The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
• The doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.
• You always remember "just one more thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.
• The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
• When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
• If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.
  Corollary: Residents always poop on your brand new shoes.
• When management smiles at you, be very, very afraid ...
• Staffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of your RNs.
• As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.
• Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.
• You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end ...
• Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.
• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.
• As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.
• If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.
• Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help ...
• Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates (and other charges)
• The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed ...
• The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.
• The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.
• The perfect nurse for the job will apply the day after that post is filled by some semi qualified idiot.
• If only one solution can be found for a problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
• When the nurse on the preceding shift has surrounded the patient with absorbent pads, the code brown will hit every sheet and miss every pad.
• Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.
• When you are starting an IV on an uncooperative patient, or dealing with a huge code brown, there is a phone call for you and it's that crabby physician that you have been paging all morning.
• Fire drills always occur on your day from hell
• The first person in line when the clinic opens will not require urgent care. The sickest person will arrive 5 minutes before closing: "I thought I'd feel better"
• The Nursing Catch-22:
  If you're running around horribly busy, you're unorganized and need to prioritize, but if you're not running around horribly busy, you're lazy and need to find more work to do.
  I've copied this page with the permission of AndrewHeenan,
  The Original page can be found at: Murphy's Nurses© 2001 A. Heenan.
  Thank you Andrew.
• You do the "Just discharged the Patient from Hell" dance only to turn around and find the Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist looking at you like you're their next patient.
  Sent by Mark Dean
• Last thing you want to hear a doctor say is 'whoops'
  Sent by Brian Breeden
• The probability of a code blue is inversely proportional to the time left till the shift change