I've neglected my blog again. Been in a funk for a few weeks and just not motivated to do much at all. I have been thinking about a lot of things and evaluating my situation. I'm definitely NOT happy the way things are right now. I just haven't figured out exactly how to change it. However, the good news is that by starting my job recently, I'm heading in the right direction. The pay is barely above minimum wage and its only about 30 hours per week-but its something. Never did I think I would be living in the situation that I am at 42 years of age. Things happen, the economy sucks and the jobs just aren't there. It DOES seem to be slowly improving, though.
I complain about my living situation but it could be MUCH worse. I want to make that clear. I occasionally stop and think about how grateful I am for what I DO have. It has taught me that material things isn't everything. Emotionally I'm a train wreck. I'm miserable in my personal relationship...and I use that term VERY loosely. We do nothing that the average couple does. The only thing that we do together on a regular basis is going to the grocery store! (I am NOT exaggerating this in the least bit) I have voiced my concerns over and over to the point where I'm tired of trying. Nothing changes and it never will. He has proven that time and time again. The communication is even horrible. It usually ends up back on me somehow and how I'm insensitive, negative, etc. Well, certain life events and people have made me this way. I'm not like this with everyone or every situation. Only with people who refuse to communicate and compromise. And I can't say this enough, its NEVER a good idea to live with other family members. Especially a very nosey, nibby, stubborn and ignorant person.
So what's my plan? Well, for now to keep working. I'm enrolling and starting back to school in the Fall and I'm signing up for income based housing. The apartments are in the town where my youngest lives with my dad. I'm tired of being without my kids...even though they're almost all but grown. I refuse to make my son change schools. He just finished his first year of high school. Its a small town and he has oodles of friends. I'm not really a "small town" person but I can tolerate it for a few years.
Hopefully I will get financial aid for school in the Fall. God knows I can't afford it otherwise. There shouldn't be a problem at least getting a Pell Government Grant. The last time I attended in Columbus, my GPA was decent and I was on the Dean's List a couple of quarters. I might be able to find some small scholarships that I qualify for. Speaking of quarters, the state of Ohio has made it mandatory that all universities go to semesters. I'm not sure how I'll like that. I get bored easily.
I'm also going to call around and see about getting back into therapy. I have to talk to somebody...and it sure as hell isn't going to be anyone here!
2 comments:
good luck with getting back into school and I hope you do find help in the therapy
Thanks, Furtheron! :)
Post a Comment