Wow, its been quite a while since my last post. Just not "feelin' it"...still not "feelin' it" and am basically forcing myself to post. This has been one of my worst and longest episodes in quite a LONG time. I know it will pass and I will get through it. I just wish it would hurry up. One of my biggest problems is that I still haven't found a job. Although, I have a few leads on a couple of positions. Now I just need to motivate myself to follow through. Motivation...pffft. One of my biggest problems. No motivation for anything at all.
I checked into going back to a therapist. That has been a great deal of frustration so far. I had my initial appointment several weeks ago. A three hour evaluation, which is a pain in the ass. I was shocked at first because the appointment was on a Thursday and the counselor set me up with a therapist the following Tuesday. Relatively quick around here. Unfortunately the therapist's assistant called me on the preceding Monday to let me know that the therapist would be out all week and that I would need to reschedule. Ugh, okay. Frustrating but shit happens. She scheduled me for the following week on a Friday-which was actually today. (Oct 5th) I got another call from the assistant on Monday. Turns out this damn therapist will be out all week again. Nice. I didn't bother to reschedule. I didn't even bother to return the call. I am going to have to later today, though. Sure, I'm pissed off about it but I'm not going to get anywhere at this rate. I'll just have to call and demand that they get me in with a therapist that will actually BE there for the appointment!
I checked into going back to a therapist. That has been a great deal of frustration so far. I had my initial appointment several weeks ago. A three hour evaluation, which is a pain in the ass. I was shocked at first because the appointment was on a Thursday and the counselor set me up with a therapist the following Tuesday. Relatively quick around here. Unfortunately the therapist's assistant called me on the preceding Monday to let me know that the therapist would be out all week and that I would need to reschedule. Ugh, okay. Frustrating but shit happens. She scheduled me for the following week on a Friday-which was actually today. (Oct 5th) I got another call from the assistant on Monday. Turns out this damn therapist will be out all week again. Nice. I didn't bother to reschedule. I didn't even bother to return the call. I am going to have to later today, though. Sure, I'm pissed off about it but I'm not going to get anywhere at this rate. I'll just have to call and demand that they get me in with a therapist that will actually BE there for the appointment!
I'm sure that if I were to see a psychiatrist that he/she would want to put me on more medication. (antidepressants) I'm already on one at a very high dose. I seriously doubt its effectiveness anymore. I've been on it for around 7 years. I would like to be off of it but the discontinuation syndrome is pure HELL! It is one of the worst, if not THE worst antidepressants to get off of.
I gotta do something, though. This is not living. I am just existing...and I am miserable.
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